


the universe was made (just to be seen by your eyes)

by biochemprincess



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Kree Stone - Theory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-13 12:19:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4521693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biochemprincess/pseuds/biochemprincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jemma wants to decline, immediately. It's not an option. But the tree is full of fruits. They all look juicy and delicious. It's the dilemma of the forbidden fruit. The goddess with May's face watches her expectantly. Jemma tries to say something, but she can't. Curiosity gets the better of her.</p><p>(The Kree Stone transports Jemma into a different galaxy and she is forced to make a difficult choice.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	the universe was made (just to be seen by your eyes)

**Author's Note:**

> There's a trigger warning for the allusion of brainwashing. It's Universe #7721 (Red Room AU), if you'd like to skip it.

* * *

“The multiverse, she said, was like an old library whose shelves were packed with books arranged by a cataloguing system that ranked them according to similarity, each book containing within its covers a story that varied only slightly from the stories of its immediate neighbours, but by increasing degrees from those of increasingly distant books.”

― Paul McAuley, Evening's Empires

* * *

 

There are many alarming signs, too many to count them all. But if she had to name the Top 3, they'd be: Her bare feet, the floor-length black dress she's suddenly wearing or the changed location. Only seconds ago she had agreed to go out on a date with Fitz, but now she is ---

\--- somewhere else.

She had screamed, had closed her eyes when the liquid had pulled her back and in the blink of an eye she had been - here.

Wherever the fucking hell here is.

Ancient ruins tower above her, made up of black stone. Indentations are carved into the walls and they look an awful lot like Coulson's carvings.

Jemma takes a step forward. The ground feels cool under her soles and she wishes she still had shoes on. The soft fabric of the dress, a combination of cashmere and silk she guesses, caresses her legs.

She walks up the stairs in front of her, right into the mouth of the castle. It looks like a palace of sorts, a place for a king of the underworld. The hallway at the end of the staircase is almost endless, at least half a mile long, with a huge portal at the other end.

Torches with blue flames hang on the walls. Jemma is tempted to follow the hallway and find out what lies behind the portal. But something feels wrong, an uneasy feeling in the back of her mind.

In the end she decides to keep going.

There's not a single sound to be heard, only the rustling of the dress. Her toes are a little numb from the cold. The walk seems to take forever. Everything looks the same - dark and black, only tinted in the blue glow of the torches. Fear runs through her body, combined with adrenaline. The unfamiliar setting is throwing her off-balance.

Jemma reaches the doors and pushes them open forcefully. The room in front of her is revealed to be a throne room.

There is a single block of stone, the throne most likely, at the back end of the room. It looks uncomfortable.

It is only then that Jemma realizes she's not alone. The throne is occupied, a lonely figure sitting on it, hidden by the shadows. She comes closer and the person, a woman, arises.

Jemma stops dead in her tracks as she recognizes her.

"May? What are you doing here?"

May walks up to her. The luxurious fabric of her billowing dress is the darkest black Jemma has ever seen, darker than her own. Her hair is braided into an elaborate chignon. She stops a few feet away from her.

Her face looks like ever, but there's something different in her expression. May's eyes are darker, colder, than usual. Power flows around her.

"My name is not May."

"Who are you then?"

"I'm the goddess of an empire my culture has long forgotten about and yours has never known of. But their disbelief and lack of knowledge doesn't change my existence."

May's --- the woman's --- the goddess' voice holds just as much power as her demeanour. Everything about her screams wisdom and strength.

"But your face ---"

The goddess smiles and it's different than May's smile, colder in ways that are not explainable with words.

"Well, my true form is not to be seen for beings of your origin, it's unhealthy. Your brain is protecting you, by changing my appearance to somebody you completely trust. I'm honoured to borrow the face of the warrioress you call a friend."

"Do you have a name?"

"There is no name chaining me to the conforms of society. It lies in the whispers of the wind and the nebula of stars, in the beating of your heart and the pulsing in your cells. Call me by the name you know my face, if you need to."

The way the goddess is speaking is captivating Jemma in a trance. She looks around before thinking of more questions to ask.

"Where are we?"

"Hala, home to the Kree. This -, " she gestures at the space around them ",is their palace."

"Did the stone transport me here?"

May nods. "The stone acted as a means of transport. The Kree created it in an attempt to destroy their own creation - the people you call Inhumans. But it is not harmful to you."

"And yet I am here." Jemma replies.

"You are different."

"Why?"

"You know the legend of the man of thunder and his weapon of choice?"

_Thor. She's talking about Thor._

"I do. Do you know him?"

"We met briefly once, many centuries ago. He doesn't know who I am and he wouldn't recognize me. But it is not of importance now. His hammer was forged in the heart of a dying star and only those who are worthy are able to wield it. The stone operates in a similar way."

"Why does it think I am worthy?" Jemma can't wrap her head around it.

"The stone reads your heart, your soul, your mind. Every millisecond of life, every breath, every little atomic change leaves an imprint. The stone can read it, it filters through the noise. It decided you are worthy."

The goddess drops a single, small piece - the same colour as the Kree Stone - to the ground. The ground starts to quake and a quicksilver tree springs up. An innumerable amount of fruits hang in its treetop. They're very small, apple - shaped and exist in various colours.

"It's a restart, of sorts." The goddess begins to explain. "Every fruits stands for a universe. If you taste it you can see it. After you're finished you can choose to stay in the universe of your choice."

Wait, what?

Jemma is at loss for words, but May waits patiently. "I don't understand."

"Your mind will transfer into the body of the universe you choose. Your current body will stay in the stone. It won't be of use anymore."

"What happens to the soul of the other body?"

"It'll vanish. There will be no swap." May adds, as if she can read her thought. She probably can.

She needs another minute until the reality of the situation hits her. She is offered a second chance, a restart. It shouldn't be possible, but it's been a long time since this has been an obstacle in her life.

"You expect me to take away the life of another version of myself?"

"It is an offer. The choice is only yours. There's only one rule. You can't occupy your body in a universe you aren't alive anymore."

"There is a universe in which I'm dead?" Jemma ask bewildered. It shouldn't surprise her - the multiverse theory holds an infinite amount of universes - but somehow it still does.

May - the goddess with May's face - takes some fruits of the tree. She's operating systematically, like she knows exactly which fruit will show her the right universe.

"Universe #9." The goddess says and hands her the first fruit. "Take a bite."

Jemma can make out her mother sitting on a hospital bed. She looks so young. She's crying. Her father has his arms wrapped around the sobbing body of her mother, his eyes just as swollen as hers.

"The umbilical cord wrapped around your neck." May explains, but doesn't have to say more.

Oh.

Jemma understands.

"Universe #229. You don't survive the fall."

She sees herself falling, but there's nobody to catch her. Her body lands in the deep ocean waves ungracefully. Jemma has to close her eyes.

But May goes on. "Universe #54. You drown in the Gulf of Mexico."

She sees Fitz and herself, their lifeless bodies on the surface, until they sink down to the bottom again. It takes all her power to not start crying right there.

Jemma wants to decline, immediately. It's not an option. But the tree is full of fruits. They all look juicy and delicious. It's the dilemma of the forbidden fruit. 

The goddess with May's face watches her expectantly. Jemma tries to say something, but she can't. Curiosity gets the better of her. She takes a few fruits, as many as she can cradle in her hands and bites into the first one. And another. And another.

 

 

 

_ Universe #3612 _

 

_The ball is the most boring and unnecessary event her father had ever held. Her dress itches and the corset is suffocating her. And if one of the suitors is coming close to her again and touching her without her consent, she's using them in her next experiment._

_Princess Jemma would do anything instead of spending another minute attending this pointless event. She doesn't understand why her father would want to marry her off. She is still young and no interested in becoming somebody's wife._

_She'd rather spend the night in her self-made laboratory and finish the chemical experiment she is currently working on. Alchemy has always been her strong suit._

_She wanders through the ballroom, anxious not to be seen by any handsy Lord. Her plan almost succeeds, until she runs into headfirst into somebody else. (Maybe she was distracted by the sky full of stars she can see through the window. But she'd never admit it.)_

_"I'm sorry, milady. I'm so sorry." Jemma hasn't seen the apologetic man before. She would remember. His eyes are of the bluest blue she has ever seen in another human. It's fascinating._

_He'd kiss her hand, but his hands are full with parchment rolls. She's sneaking an interested peek at them. The drawings of outlandish machines look fascinating._

_"Who are you?"_

_"Prince Leopold. I'm heir to the kingdom in the north."_

_"The one where it always rains?"_

_He laughs. "Yes."_

_"Would you mind showing me your work?"_

_Prince Leopold looks surprised, before his mouth turns from an 'o' into a smile. "It would be my greatest pleasure."_

 

 

 

_ Universe #10872 _

 

_Jemma lets her bag fall to the floor with a loud bang. It attracts the attention of the other two agents, who are bent over the lab table._

_"Fitz? Skye?"_

_"Fitz." The woman, with her long dark hair braided, says and points at the man across the table._

_The man points back. "Skye. I'm engineering, she's computer science."_

_"Hacking. It's hacking. He's just too polite to say it."_

_"It's illegal."_

_Jemma watches them bicker for a while, keeping her face straight. It becomes evident that they don't pose a threat for her. She's in control of the situation._

_They'd fall together with SHIELD._

_HYDRA would win this war. She'd take care of that._

 

 

 

_Universe #6021_

 

_"Donald Trump is running for president."_

_"Come again?"_

_"Trump is running for president."_

_Jemma puts her highlighter and the newspaper aside and gives Skye a deadpan look. "Are you kidding me?"_

_Skye grins as if Christmas had come early. "No. He just gave his announcement speech at Trump Tower. Here's the vid." She virtually shoves her tablet into Jemma's face._

_Jemma watches the video, then replays it and replays it again. "Have you talked to Fitz yet?"_

_"No. The grump is especially grumpy today. Thought you'd like to have the honour of doing so."_

_Of course. Nobody dared to stir the kraken. That's her job._

_"Alright. Please call together the others. We'll do the rundown meeting now. I'll talk to Fitz."_

_She leaves her office together with Skye and walks right into Fitz's without knocking._

_"I don't remember inviting you in." he says. Fitz stares at her for a moment, but his looks linger a little too long._

_She's Jemma 'I don't need no second name' Simmons. She's spent two years in a godforsaken war zone, undercover, right under the enemies' nose. She's the executive producer of one of the most watched news shows._

_(Okay, they're on fourth place, but that's because they make good news and who cares for ratings anyway.)_

_Yes, she had made a mistake those years ago when she had left without looking back. But she had paid for her mistake, in more ways than one. And she is still paying._

_"How much do you hate me?" Jemma asks strangely defeated. She's too tired for words, too tired to play their game any longer._

_"I don't hate you, Jemma." His voice is smaller than usual, less angry. Almost like it once used to be._

_"Well, that's how it feels to me. And I'm asking myself how I can make you stop." She sighs and turns towards the door. "Trump is running for president. Rundown is in five. Prepare some witty, well thought-out monologue."_

_She's leaving him behind in his office, starring as she walks away. The disbelieving 'Are you kidding me?' from behind the glass wall makes her strides a little lighter._

 

 

 

_Universe #98_

 

_"The dress is beautiful." Bobbi beams at her like the sun. She holds her long dark hair up to fake an up-do._

_Jemma looks up from her notes and brochures for a moment to smile back. "And the one shoulder style is perfect for your height."_

_"You make it sounds like I'm a giant."_

_"You are, in fact, taller than me."_

_"It's not rocket science. Everybody is taller than you, Jemma."_

_She pouts, mouthing a faux - outraged 'No' in return._

_Bobbi twirls around in her dress once more. "Have I ever told you that you're the best wedding planer in the world?"_

_"Yes, but I live for compliments. Say it as often as you want to." The notes almost fall to the floor as Jemma flicks through them again. "Now we have to make Lance look as good as you. And I don't think it's going to be easy. You have natural beauty, a radiant glow, but Hunter --- "_

_"But it gives you another chance to talk to Hunter's best man."_

_Jemma feigns a lack of interest - or tries to do so. A blush rises to her cheeks. "I don't know what you're talking about."_

_"Sure. I have eyes. And so does Fitz. You should go for it." Bobbi says._

_"Which one of us is the wedding planner?"_

_"Since you do mine, I could do yours. You're gonna get back to me. I can feel it."_

 

 

 

_ Universe #7721 _

 

_The engineer is an easy target. So easy, she's almost offended they picked her for the assignment._

_She's one of the best spies the Red Room had ever brought forth. She had excelled in every single competition. Nobody is more superior than Jemma Simmons._

_She can't say the same about her target._

_Dr. Leopold Fitz - which is honestly the most ridiculous name she has ever heard in her whole life - is a renowned scientist, yes, she gives credit where it is due. But he's not on the same level as her._

Find target. Acquire construction plans. Eliminate target.

_It's an easy assignment. Jemma doesn't understand why the Red Room would send her to kill a mere engineer. But she doesn't question their decision. She is following the rules. She likes following the rules and doing what's expected of her. It's makes her feel --- nice._

_She blinks a few times, trying to ignore the sudden headache in the back of her mind. She doesn't need this right now. It had happened more often lately. The unbearable migraines, the nausea, the feeling as if there were two persons occupying her body._

_Jemma knows the signs. She had seen them in other Widows before and she had taken them out. Because they are a liability when they don't know which side they're on. She hasn't decided yet. Her superiors hadn't noticed her unusual behaviour and she wouldn't rub it under their nose._

_She hasn't decided yet, but might need to soon. Which way she wants to go. If she leaves the Red Room, she'll be a fugitive forever, until they find and kill her._

_Jemma shakes her head. It doesn't help anybody to dwell on things. This is her job and she's going to finish it._

Après moi le déluge.

_The apartment is easily accessible. She climbs up the fire escape, breaks open a window silently and she's in. The plans she wants are on a laptop standing on the countertop of the kitchenette._

_She holds it in her hands, when she hears footsteps behind her._

_"Don't."_

_Damn, he's better than she'd given him credit for. With her right hand on her gun holster she turns around and points the gun at him._

_He has a gun in his hands himself, but he doesn't look too comfortable. She'd win a fight instantly._

_The silence between them stretches. She examines him, how he's standing there in his barely furnished living room. He doesn't look at her like other men. They either lust over her with their looks or they are shaking with fear. But he does neither._

_"I know who you are."_

_She lets out a bitter laugh. "No. You don't."_

_"I could help you. SHIELD could. To get away."_

_"Nobody can help me."_

_Except myself._

_"It doesn't have to be like this." Jemma expects to see pity in his eyes, but there isn't. There's hope and determination. "You could be free."_

_The headache returns in full force, so hard the room starts to spin. She'd never had the illusion to flee. Other girls, weaker girls, girls that weren't her, they had tried. They had made plans, until the Red Room had broken them or they had died. But not her._

_The engineer waits for her to do something. There's light in his blue eyes and she hasn't seen anything like this before. Trust. She doesn't know what to do with it._

_Jemma puts down his laptop and her gun. "I'm listening."_

 

 

 

_Universe #4792_

 

_(In this one her name's not Jemma, but Juliet because she had started kicking when her mother had been watching the MacMillan ballet of 'Romeo & Juliet' and she hadn't stopped until the movie had ended._

_You'd think it doesn't change much, but it does._

_Juliet tries to live up to her name, gets into the drama club, becomes an acclaimed actress with the allegedly perfect life._

_Hollywood loves her. Jemma doesn't. And neither does Juliet herself.)_

 

 

 

Universe #841

 

_The sound of machines lulls her to sleep. Her warm hand is wrapped around his cold and motionless one, the way it is for months now. She knows they're standing on the other side of the wall, she hears their whispers._

_They think she's asleep, but she is anything but that. Tears stream down her face silently, more and more with every word they say. Her head is turned away from them, so they can't see her face._

_"Will she ever let go?"_

_"Skye ---"_

_"It's been over a year, May."_

_There's no answer._

_Jemma knows, just like they do._

_There's no sign of brain activity. Only the machines keep him alive._

_He'll never wake up._

_But she's not ready to let go._

_She never will be._

 

 

 

_Universe #739_

 

_The taste of coffee kicks her tastebuds awake and Jemma desperately hopes the caffeine does the same to the other cells of her body. Her mitochondria could use a little jump start. She's too tired for words and her 48 hour shift still has 10 hours left._

_"Dr. Simmons?" One of the new nurses, Callie, turns to her, covering the phone speaker with one hand. "A trauma is coming in 15 minutes. Severe shot wound to the abdomen, heavy blood loss."_

_"Which room is free?"_

_"Two."_

_"I'll take over."_

_The young woman arrives in an ambulance, a distraught middle-aged man next to her. He tells her that her name is Skye, he tells her to save her._

_Jemma nods, before leaving him in the waiting area. She knows he's a SHIELD agent, just like she knows she's seen him before, but she can't place his face right now. Her mind is too preoccupied by the woman's injuries._

_It takes her and her team far longer than she'd like to admit to stabilize the woman and get her into surgery. Her chances are doubtful, but not hopeless._

_She splashes some cold water into her face and_

_"Fitz?"_

_His familiar face is the last she'd have expected to see today. They had had some classes together, back at the Academy, before she had decided to switch to Med and save lives in a different way. Sometimes she thought about where she'd be now if she hadn't specialized in surgery._

_"Simmons? Are you her treating doctor?"_

_"I am."_

_She gives them the basics at first. And then she gives them the details too, because she notices how this group of 4, consisting of sleep-deprived and scared agents, is the only family the young woman will see today. Jemma makes sure that the nurses are giving them updates as her shift comes to an end._

_In another world, she might have been sitting there too, waiting for news._

_But she's not part of this._

 

 

 

_Universe #235_

 

_It's not really clear who is chasing whom through the garden._

_Two small boys with light-brown hair run after each other and a tiny Golden Retriever puppy. It's a chaotic mess._

_Jemma watches from the terrace with the laptop opened in front of her. The article is almost finished and ready to be submitted. Her boss would be overjoyed._

_"Are they still not tired of the dog?" Fitz suddenly appears from inside the house and wraps his arms around her upper body. His wedding band glistens in the sun._

_"Oh, Fitz. We 've had 'Happy' less than two weeks now. I don't think they'll get tired of him anytime soon."_

_He lets go of her and sinks into one of the other chairs. They watch their sons in their huge garden and how their laughter makes the afternoon even brighter._

_"Do you ever think about how our life would be if we had chosen to stay at the Academy and become field agents?" Fitz poses the question out of nowhere._

_Jemma looks at him absentmindedly, chewing on the ballpoint pen in her hands. It's not like she hasn't thought about it too; she has. And sometimes she thinks about all the adventures they could have had, if she had been able to convince him to do their field exams._

_People had often told her that Fitz would follow her wherever she would go. But it is also true in reverse. She wouldn't go anywhere in the world if he wouldn't follow her._

_They had argued a lot back then and in the end decided to stay in the lab together. And somehow, during one of those confrontations, they really got together._

_She looks at her boys again, Jonas and Liam, and how she couldn't imagine a life without them in it._

_"Jemma?"_

_Her eyes focus on him once more and a bright smile breaks across her face. "Not really. I quite like it here, where we are. I'm perfectly happy."_

_"Me too."_

 

 

 

"No." The word is a battle cry, the howling of a wounded wolf. She doesn't want to watch any of it anymore. There's no sense to wallow in self-pity, to go through world after world, the what - if and what - could - have - been.

Jemma doesn't want to see any of these universes, neither good nor bad.

It's all too much, the pictures of those lives she doesn't live.

But she doesn't want to, Jemma realizes. No world, not matter how good and perfect it would be, could replace what she'd leave behind.

The goddess smiles for the second time since she met her, but this time it's warm and genuine. "I'd hoped you'd make the best decision. But you need to tell me, so you can go home."

"I don't care for any universe you've shown me. I want to go home to the one I belong to."

The goddess takes her hands in hers. The grip on Jemma's wrists is tight, but not hurtful. "Your decision will be final. There won't be another chance. You do understand?"

"I do. Just bring me home." She's certain. Nothing could annul her decision.

"As you wish."

The wind picks up, turning into a full blown storm and Jemma finds herself in the eye of the hurricane. It's not only air, but fire and water and earth too. All those elements circle her in a whirlwind, but she doesn't feel fear.

Despite everything, despite the fragility of the situation she has faith. This goddess had kept every single of her promises. Jemma believes she'll do it again. She has to.

The throne room blurs before her eyes until she can't see it anymore. Nothing except the vortex matters anymore. Her limbs are shaking like those of a children's doll.

Minutes or hours or days pass and then, suddenly, Jemma is falling through time and space.

 

 

 

_Universe #2147_

 

She feels hard ground underneath her cheek. A wave of nausea hits her hard. Jemma rolls onto her back and waits for the world to stop turning. The tiles are cool against her heated skin.

"Jemma?"

Her eyes open, locking with the blue ones that appear above her.

His voice is concerned, frightened. But it's the voice she has known for half of her life, the voice she wants to hear for the rest of it.

Yes, this is the right universe. The one she belongs to.

And Jemma smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> ~ Title (with a minor change) comes from the song "Saturn" by Sleeping At Last. (The most fs song to ever exist.)
> 
> ~ Why did I write this fic: a) I love Kree Stone theories, b) I wanted to write Jemma in different AU scenarios, but most important c) I wanted Jemma to come to terms with her own trauma and choose this life - her life - once again.
> 
> ~ Thank you for reading. Please let me know what you think about it. You can also find me @ mightyjemma.tumblr.com


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